Sunday, January 26, 2020

Simple Habit

I may have mentioned it before, but since I am on anxiety level red alert (something just feels amiss in my gut, but I fully admit it could just be pms), I am leaning pretty hard on the app Simple Habit (as well as hourly half-cups of baking soda water for indigestion) , which was recommended to me by a cheerful co-worker.
It has numerous meditations, many of them free, and I usually start my morning with a short talk and then I listen to some soothing music while I sit quietly.

I highly recommend it as a starting point for meditation and calmness. The 31 Day Fresh Start selection is perfect for beginners. Then finish with the theta wave music for ten minutes of peace. I can't wait for morning  to get back into my daily routine 😀

One Day More-Another viewing of Les Mis

Today, to celebrate our anniversary earlier this month, my husband and I went to see the traveling production of Les Miserables at the performance hall in town. The first time I saw the musical was at the local theatre and I was instantly hooked. It had everything I loved-hope, renewal, love, passion-all wrapped in one vibrant package. Soon after the musical version of the movie came out, and again I was entranced. There were personal memories accompanying that, as you can read more deeply in this post on my personal blog page, The Whisper Within. But this is just a musical after my own heart.

I love the idea that no matter where you come from, no matter your misdeeds, you can always choose a new path. As we see in the story of Fantine, things do not always work out for us here, but by moving forth in love (for her child) she did get her redemption. Jean Valjean reeks of inspiration and goodness-and even Javert-unyielding- is sympathetic. Javert is the stubborn child within us, the passive-aggressive pout when we refuse own happiness to keep another from getting what they want. I love sweet Marius and tolerate the saccharine Cozette, and Eponine is just the best ever. Eponine with her unjust upbringing who still brings beauty with her love for Marius and thwarted hopes and dreams, is so close to the heart of any among us who have suffered (and who hasn't?).

I love the idea that we are all capable and deserving of redemption. As I wrote in an earlier post, we are all just babies crawling around messing up. We are all in need of grace. We are all in need of mercy. All Javert has to do is just yield-just one small bit, just one deep breath, and let his hand fall, but like so many of us, he clings to what he believes, he cannot let it go-it is worth his own life to hold onto his beliefs and pride. And I think that is what I love so much about this musical. We can see ourselves playing out in so many of the roles and see the outcomes each path might bring. We can see which choices lead to good and which choices lead to pain. And we learn as we identify. We cry as we understand.

I love the boys of the rebellion, the passionate music, the hints and bits of childhood innocence. Even after leaving I hear the ringing, rising tones as One Day More echos in my head, stirring the tears waiting behind my tired eyes and held in by my raging headache. Thankfully, the lady to my right cried as much as I, and I witnessed her wiping the tears that had dripped down her neck away, even as I wiped them off my chest.

All in all, a perfectly passionate day.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

A few of my favorite things and a great article link.

I have been swimming in blueness for a couple of days, and while the less than happy memories can bring their own dramatic pleasure ( like a nail in the gumline), eventually a return to what is good, to what is right, is necessary. So I thought I would share a few things I am currently loving.

The delicious order I received around 2:30a.m. and the fact that it was in stock with that supplier and is now shipped. Happiness.

Wal-Mart French Roast K -cups.

Anne With an E. It's not the Anne of the books or the Meghan Follows version. It is too PC to represent the times, but oh! The cinematography is luscious.

The light of our home, dimpled Alec, will be three this week. I rejoice in his youthfulness, just as I see the light at the end of the constant mess tunnel.

My calico, Spitfire. From the sweet young cat who gave birth beside me to the frail elderly feline grouch she is now,we have had many years together.

Possible wintry weather. ❤️❄️
Nothing warms the soul like gathering with one's family as the storm rages outside the walls.

These are simple delights, nothing poetic or fancy, but they are mine.

I do wish you would comment below with a few of your favorite things.

And as promised:

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Off Days

Image result for fireplace"

Now that winter break is over and I am back to my day job, I feel the exhaustion all over my body. The first day back, I came home, took some pain reliever and spent the evening on the couch. Gradually I became used to the extra activity, but I felt a bit of frustration. I do not have a physical job. In fact, I think I spend too much time sitting a great part of the day.  But something about being at work, just uses a tremendous amount of energy.

I had my Saturday planned. I would do some light straightening, some laundry, nothing serious or strenuous. The weather promised to be nasty, so it was going to be a hygge day spent reading, websurfing, playing with my business stuff, and generally enjoying being alive. My husband budgeted a whole $50 because I am dying for new clothes (because all my extra-and not so extra- money is being thrown into the previously mentioned business), so I would search for deals online. Of course, I planned to get up around five and quietly awaken and go through my spiritual practices as I coffeed myself up adequately.

And then, of course. Life. At four a.m. my toddler was knocking on his door. I opened it and he said one word as he stood there naked. "Poop." I looked around expecting a mess, but he pushed past me, went into my bathroom, retrieved his potty, went to his room, pushed me out, and closed the door.

I could live with this.
It was short-lived however. I noticed my phone had come unplugged and scraped the wall as I was plugging it in. It wasn't long before he was crying and knocking on his door. I went back. He was staring at the wall in fear, crying, and saying, "Wall." The noise had scared him. This started when his pesky older brother started knocking on another wall to creep him out. Now any knocking when he is in his room scares him.

So I brought him to my already crowded bed, because sometime during the night my seven-year-old had come in. But he never went back to sleep. Eventually we stumbled downstairs to start the day. The seven-year-old awoke and followed. The seven-year-old is clingy. So my morning was not the peaceful, mind-enhancing morning I had planned. It is now 11, the toddler has just been put down for a nap, the house is messy, my phone has been snatched by a kid, and I sit here tired. And not feeling spiritual at all.

But it is Saturday, and we are making the best of it. I started a fire in the fireplace. I made homemade biscuits for breakfast (ignored that the seven-year-old said they tasted like playdough-they kind of did).  I ordered groceries. I deliberately left cocoa and chocolate chips off the list because I must lose the Christmas weight, if nothing else. And now I have a moment, however short, to type.

Some days are just off. Some days your best laid plans are knocked down. Your sleep deprivation continues one more day. The books sit unread. The patience you prayed for is wearing painfully thin.
Those are days when you just have to let go of your expectations. "Not my will, but yours," you think. You set your teeth, clean up the coffee the seven-year-old kicked on the carpet accidentally, make another cup, and try again. This time you REALLY let the aroma sink in (because who knows if you will actually get it in your body before it cools-or spills). You watch the flames dance in the fireplace, knowing, you are one with all the women before who sat in firelight gathering the pieces.

And then you can sit and marvel at the abundance around you. The walls and roof. The living creatures, human and not. The furnishings and decor and dishes and books, purchased one by one through your own labor. And maybe the day is off. And maybe the plans are shattered. But you are there, living one more unexpectedly beautiful day surrounded by plenty.

And your spirit soars anyway.