posts in category humor

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Quarantine Fashionista

My day job consists of going out to work every day dressed in some form of apparel. Every few years the boss will share some tips to help us dress in appropriate clothing. Usually there is something funny like shoes with bows or Mary Janes. But overall, what I take away from it, is no jeans except for Friday and "special" days, and probably no sneakers. I have noticed a lot of people wearing sneakers anyway, and I sort of get it (I do it, too). I mean we are walking all over the place, standing up a lot, comfort matters.

For me this could be anything from dress pants and skirts with a blouse or sweater to leggings and a tunic top and a pair of boots. If I wear a blazer, I try to save it for dress-down jeans Friday because who wants to look too stuffy?

Suddenly now though, I find myself in this new and exciting world of working at home (and I sort of love it!). So I thought I would share a few of my favorite pieces which get me through the week:
This post contains affiliate links.

Pajama Chic!

Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

Pajama chic is PERFECT for the morning after an anxiety-induced sleepless night worrying over bills, whether your job will survive, loss of FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOMMMMM (thank you, Mel), and you know, whether you and your kids are going to end up "living in a van down by the river" picking grubworms to eat for lunch.
If there is a chance a neighbor will knock or an older child might drop by, you might want to go ahead and throw your favorite sports bra on, because these tops tend to be very thin.
Something like this should be just about right...





Joggers!

Photo by Andrei Mike on Unsplash
When you are feeling a little better about things and think you might even get a little laundry folding in between online assignments and report writing, these are the pants. You can even make that panic trip to Walgreen's in them, if you find you are out of a staple like milk or bread.



Zoom Meeting Dress Shirt:

Time for your weekly Zoom meeting? Dress it up, girl! This shirt has you covered from the waist up (just don't forget and stand up to yell at your kids to GO Watch TV NOW! unless you take the time to at least throw a pair of jeans on, too (I kid, I have a 9 year old, no more pantless days for me).



Photo by Bibarys Ibatolla on Unsplash



Evening Time
Finally get those rascals in bed? Or maybe you just gave up and handed them a tablet and sent them to their rooms?
It's wine time, pretty momma! Relax in style in a simple flowy tank dress like this:
 

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Not only slouchy and sexy, but it hides that Covid 19 y'all better be putting on, too, so I am the not the only one who emerges from this with a greater resemblance to Jabba the Hut! Solidarity Sisters!




Now you have some simple styles to get you through these long weeks in style! Stay tuned for hairstyles next week!


Enjoy dressing,

Jillian




Don't forget to check out our kids' clothing shop! 

lillemondrop.net

Saturday, March 7, 2020

Embarrassing First Date Confession

First I want to say, being a female is fantastic. Now I am not saying misogyny and sexism don't affect my world and aren't a real thing, but overall I like being me in this time and place.

Basic arm strength aside, I don't really think women are the weaker sex at all. We are amazing in the sheer amount of work we can get done(although my husband's ability to clean a refrigerator or room quickly without tiring is really impressive, and I envy that), the number of things we can keep on our mind (and this is not my strong area), and our ability to reason well and feel deeply(not saying you men can't do this either).  Women Rock! Go Rosie!

But there is an area where I feel some of us are lacking. Maybe not every female, maybe not you. But for me and some women I know, this is a problem.

But I am jumping ahead of myself. Let's get to the date.

My  mom had introduced me to Karl. He lived in the same apartment complex and my mom was always out socializing and meeting people. He had come to a group movie (I started to suspect he liked me since it was my mom, an elderly neighbor, and me only), and my mom's Halloween party. Finally he worked up the nerve...to ask me out as friends. We had a few "friend dates" where we met at a local bar complete with some heavy kissing afterward, but more than anything I was just confused. Finally after a break, he asked me out on a "REAL" date. 

I was excited, but also wary. The three week break we had just come off of had hurt me, and I wasn't quite sure of his intentions, and I have a tender heart hidden behind a layer of false bravado, keep 'em guessing BS (which probably fools noone-but helps me feel safe). We went out for Mexican food, and then back to his bar again. I am not a bar person, and definitely wasn't then, but it was a small supposed-to-be lesbian bar, which seemed to attract its share of single men, hiding out from life I guess. Anyway, I got this amazing, big tropical drink. It had five shots, but I usually stuck with wine or champagne when I had alcohol, so it didn't really register with me that that might be more than enough. I think I even ordered a second. Everything was fine. I was relaxed and having fun, and then we got up to leave. 

And suddenly, the world swayed around me.  Sounds seem to blur as wave of nausea came over me and I clung to Karl for support. We went outside and decided to walk back to Karl's place. Both his apartment and my home were within walking distance, and taking the car didn't seem like a good idea since we were drinking. Outside the winter air seemed like it might clear my head and then...

I threw up. Right in the parking lot by the back door of the bar. That in itself is embarrassing, am I right? But you see, I was a female who had three children. Three beautiful children who barged through the door to my uterus weighing a range of 8 and a half pounds to a chubby 9 pounds 14 ounces. My pelvic wall had seen better days. So when I threw up, I also (you ladies guessed it, right) peed my pants. Right there by the bar, in winter, when we were too drunk to get in a car to get anywhere. 

I was partially mortified and partially 34 and developing wisdom (hey, men will go through a lot to get a little, ahem). I may or may not have squeezed out a tear. There was nothing left to do, but walk the 1/2 to 3/4 miles to his apartment. We got there, I showered, and then embarrassingly, fit into a pair of his jeans, and we hung out for several more hours, watching movies, kissing and eating lots of candy. 

On good days, I think it is a sign of our comfort with each other, that we could move on and finish the date. 

On bad days, I think it is an omen and I should have known better.

:)

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