When Disappointment Hits

Friday, May 17, 2019
It was bound to happen. You can't fly high without hitting the ground at some point, and I have found that point comes sooner rather than later.

I'd like to say I have a wonderfully mature way to handle my disappointments which sends me sailing through to recovery, but I don't. In fact, sometimes I even blow it. Still. After 45 years.

Yesterday involved a big pity party, lots of sulking at home, and a very long, solitary bath.

 If you let yourself feel great joy and hope, you will also feel great disappointment. Like two sides of the same coin, you cannot separate one from the other. What you can do is minimize the time spent processing the negative feelings of disappointment and learn to more forward as quickly as possible.

As someone who quietly dares to dream and who struggles with the crash, I have started building a toolbox to get me through the disappointment.

First, talk to a trusted friend. If you are anything like me, you will need this friend to just listen and be loyal to you. I don't want logic. I can see that part myself. What I need is to just be unreasonable for awhile so I can discharge some of this negativity out of me. For me, this is my spouse who usually listens to me and lets me take the time for self-care that I need.

Second, do something nice for yourself. Yes, a glass of wine would dull the pain a bit, but it might also lower your inhibitions enough that you act out. Avoiding alcohol and other dulling agents allows you to find ways to pamper yourself which truly refresh your spirit and lets you work through the problems quicker.

Some ideas might be:

  • Taking a luxurious bath
  • Going for a drive and listening to your favorite music
  • Indulging in a nap
  • A hot fudge sundae (Okay, not the healthiest, but it helps!)
  • A manicure
  • Getting a blowout
  • A walk in nature
  • Journaling or drawing
  • An episode or two of something light and funny

Finally, I recommend prayer or another spiritual exercise and a good night's sleep. Giving it up to God, or letting it rest in the hands of the Universe, or simply telling the room you don't want to carry this anymore and you are letting go can make a tremendous difference. While it may be necessary to keep repeating this step, if you are like me and keep picking your disappointments up again, just slowly breathing as you release all this disappointment to God, can calm your spirit. And a good night's sleep is just common sense.

Certain negative emotions such as disappointment or betrayal zap the energy right out of my body. I get very weak and spiritually frail quickly. When I am hurt, I want to hurt back. It's instinctual. This is why I believe the spiritual element of emotional recovery is so important. My faith allows me to share my burdens with a higher power with stronger arms and a plan for me. It doesn't erase all the pain, but it lightens my load and helps me pull myself back to my feet, face scrubbed and ready to try again.

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