I realize after my last post, I have said nothing.
Here's what happened. My principal said, No, I can't do FACS at this point. I am beyond sad. I feel like I blew my one chance. I was told by the principal at the Elementary that I had the ISC job pending references, but then he called me back and said he had an ISC teacher, but I could do cross-cat. This was after I had already wrapped my head around ISC, was learning and making plans, and looking at new purchases for things my classroom would need. I also hadn't interviewed for Cross-cat, so I had no idea about the caseload or any details. I turned it down. I was still hopeful I would get another job, but noone even interviewed me. I am so disappointed. I feel like such a failure.
So now, I have no choice but to man up do this year of coteaching cross cat math, even though it doesn't appeal to me, because ultimately, I did make this choice (during a bad week). And the reg ed math job DID open up here, because a teacher is leaving, and noone asked if I was interested, and I feel like my whole career is a wash and I am disgusted with myself, even though it all pretty much pays the same. I mean I knew they wouldn't ask, but still. I guess I was really really really bad at it. I mean, I took math through Calc 3 for what? What a waste. I am on the verge of a deep depression, but I know I just need to suck it up, and stop thinking and feeling and go on autopilot. Sometimes that is the only way to survive. It's fine. It will all be fine.
The loser,
Jill
:o). Do NOT give me hug emojis. I can handle this, and if I can't, well, that's all good, too.
It's really all okay. Don't let my strong words stress you out-the truth is what it is and I can handle sucking. ;o). It does all pay the same. I am just going to have to change my own attitude-because...that's all I have right now:o). Hahaha. FWP for SURE.
